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Being a new person entering a setting of well-established boundaries and relationships can be daunting. Everyone knows their role; everyone knows what is too far. My last job I was there 20 years. I was the one everyone approached for background information and to be shown how to accomplish their effort. Everyone came to me to get guidance on who they should speak to about their issue. Now I struggle to remember names, cannot make heads or tails of who is in which department and what that department even does or how it fits into the ‘bigger picture’ of the end-toend process. I now find myself in a situation in which I am not the expert and, in short, I do not much like it. But I think it is good for me. Everyone needs to be new and lost and feel stupid every now and then, not only to keep the ego from running rampant. But, also to remind them what it is to be new and alone in an unfamiliar situation. Remind them to be patient and remind them to be kind. Our world is changing so fast and while the smaller towns and villages in the countryside are somewhat insulated from the impacts of these changes it will eventually make it here. New people moving in from California, Oregon or Washington. New to the area and lost about where to go for their lawn equip- ment or to have their car repaired. Unavailability of products or a situation like I experienced at the store last week… I finished my shopping and headed to the front of the store; I am stung by how much I think this cartful of goods is likely to cost. I just want to be done with this and be in the car on the way home. Now which lane, finally I find one which looks promising, the customer at the register appears to be paying as all his goods are in bags. The customer waiting only has 3 items on the conveyor. This is my lane! I get in line and begin to unload. The cashier leaves the register and walks around to the elderly gentleman’s cart and begins to go through the bagged items. Shortly, she finds what she is looking for and pulls it out then returns to the register. She begins typing something in. Another cashier walks up and tells me she is available on register 4. I decline as I already unloaded the entire cart on the conveyor, so does the lady in front of me. We wait. The cashier returns to the elderly fellows’ cart and begins to go through the bagged items once again. She stops, looks up at myself and the lady in front of me and apologizes. Says, “this can happen to any one of us, I am so sorry about this.” A little confused, I nod and smile and say something non-committal, like “no problem.” I continue to wait. The cashier has returned to the cash register and is typing something in again. I wait. As the cashier returns to the elderly fellows cart a third time, I have had enough. I begin to take my items from the conveyor and place them back in my cart. The lady in front of me watches me, hesitates then seems to make up her mind to stay. I finish loading my cart and push the heavy cart up to register 4 and begin to unload. The new cashier was ringing up the young girl in front of me, I did believe this was going to be a much faster lane. I finished unloading and stood and waited. The new cashier tells the young girl that it did not go through. The young girl says, “well try just $10”. I guess that worked. But, it seems, her order was not fully paid for. The cashier looks at the girl for a moment then says quietly, “don’t worry about it, I will get it.” The girl says “thank you, thank you so much.” Takes her items and walks out while the cashier types something into the register. Meanwhile behind me, the previous cashier continues to take items out of the elderly man’s cart. I now feel a pang of empathy for this fellow. Maybe I should pay for his cartful of product. The previous cashier is taking out laundry detergent, this man was just trying to get his household products! But I am distracted, now my cashier is ringing up my items. She quickly moves all my items across her scanner and into bags. I am kept busy grabbing the filled bags and tying them off and placing them back into my cart. Suddenly, I look up as I realize the elderly fellow who had had a cartful of product walks past me with a single bag with what looked like milk and some bagged items from the prescription counter. My cashier rolls the bag wheel and another filled bag lands in front of me. I grab it, tie it off and place it in my cart. Now I head to the register and put in my debit card. Punch in my numbers, collect my receipt and head out to my car. I should have been relieved to be done, to be on my way. Instead, I feel heavy inside. I load the groceries into my car, shut the door and begin pushing my empty cart to the cart return. As I do my attention is caught by an elderly man driving past slowly in an old truck. His gaze is slightly down and straight ahead. He looks as though he is just trying to get home, wanting out of this situation. Like he just wanted it to be done. He did not look up, left or right. Just straight ahead and kept driving slowly. I returned my cart and walked back to my car. Much slower now. My impatience was gone. My thoughts were caught up in wondering about my actions. Should I have done differently? Does that elderly fellow have someone to look out for him? Did he alienate his family long ago when he was young and driven by a quick temper and rash ego? I don’t know, there is no way for me to know. I send him love and my good wishes as his old truck slowly pulls out into traffic and he is gone from my view. Gone from my influence. Two ships which passed, without ever having contact, just passed close by one another as each continued on its own journey. Each with their own thoughts, each returning to their own home.
