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Mothers’ Day slipped by but here’s a little ditty that’s too good to save until next year: If the shoe fits, wear it!!! 1. You made her cry…. a lot. 2. She really DID want that last piece of cake…but guess who got it instead? 3. It hurt her when you behaved badly. 4. She was always afraid, not for herself, but for YOU! 5. She knew she wasn’t perfect. 6. She watched you while you slept. 7. She carried you a lot longer than 9 months. 8. It broke her heart every time you cried. 9. She put YOU first every time over herself. 10. She would do it all again. ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO OKLAHOMA: 1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive pickup with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them or pay them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 3. Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive. 4. Get used to the phrase “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”. And the collateral phrase “You call this hot? Wait’ll August.” 5. Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares. 6. If you think it’s too hot, don’t worry. It’ll cool down-in December. 7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is. 8. If someone says they’re “fixin” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything’s broken. 9 . The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade. 10. If you are driving a slower moving vehicle, on a two-lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called “courtesy”. 11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.