AMERICANS UNANIMOUSLY AGREE TO VOTE FOR WHICHEVER CANDIDATE STOPS SENDING THEM CAMPAIGN DONATION TEXT MESSAGES

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Americans on both sides of the political divide have finally united under a single issue: every single American in the United States has agreed to vote for whichever candidate stops sending them campaign donation text messages first.Political analysts say that the move probably stems from the average man getting fed up with receiving over 3,400 text messages soliciti...